Note: The rule of the chronogram is that when all letters corresponding to Roman numerals (c, d, i, l, m, v, and x) are added together, they produce a sum equivalent to a specific year of the Christian calendar.
January starts: sun here, stars there.
So what joys & fears has the New Year brought us?
- In the Irkukst penitentiary ironworks the night shift is finishing its stint, skirting weighty pig-iron ingots as it regains the prison interior.
- In Pienza, Ernestina is heating tripe fiorentina for thirteen.
- In Sing-Sing, wearing surreptitious attire, Phineas, Bishop of Ossining, is anointing fifteen Fenian (‘Fighting Irish’) priests in a kiosk of ingenuous piety.
- Bibi is shirring pigeon eggs in Saint étienne.
- In Brighton Ignatius is getting high quaffing his fifth straight Irish whisky.
- In Pretoria, gritty Erwin Higginson (age eight), ignoring fatigue & injuries, is winning his point in a bruising nineteen-eighteen tiebreaker against Fritz Spitzfinger (age nine) by returning a wristy spinner hip-high & without hesitation whipping it fair, Spitzfinger then batting it high into the rows to bring the fifteenth prestigious Witherspoon Tennis Initiation Tourney to a breathtaking finish.
- In Fuji, pursuing a hashish high with Quentin, Kenny is perusing sporting prints by Hiroshige & Hokusai.
- Arising at eight in Brisbane, Ian, aspiring historian of propitious intuitions, enjoys the benign aberration that, by getting a grip on his utopian fusion of Augustinian with Einsteinian reasoning, he is attaining a genuine gnosis.
- In Etrurian Tarquinia, Gigi is eating spaghetti with pepperoni.
- In Austria, zipping past the Inn, ignoring warning signs, Pippo Peruzzi, first-string Ferrari whiz, big winner in Spain & Argentina, is steering his touring bike (pistons & turbine whirring, its stunning furnishings genuine Pinin-Farina) in brisk pursuit of fiery Zizi, his Hungarian skier, itinerant antithesis, antagonist, tigress, priestess, siren, obsession, happiness, wife.
- Bobbie is sitting with Bert in a Parisian bistro, in whose noisy interior untiring opportunists are satisfying pretentious ninnies with inferior white wine.
- Heroin originating in Iquitos is winning first prize with tertiary bargaining arbitrators in Tijuana.
- Bonnie is frying onion rings in Triffin, Ohio.
- In antique Poitiers, Antoinette is refreshing her guests with interpretations of Rossini’s quainter offerings, interspersing arias & ariettas with his ‘Nizza’ (singer & piano), his ‘Raisins’ & ‘Noisettes’ (piano), his first sinfonia (strings), & his roguish ‘Iphigenia’ (bass trio).
- In Tirana, inept Hussein is paying fifty-eight qintars to fortify his Istrian wine with Bosnian raki.
- In the wintry outskirts of Pori, Father Tiki Haakinen - enterprising & itinerant Finnish priest - is repairing hi-fi wiring for a parish benefit.
- In spite of its threat to her ingratiating Gibson waist, Rikki, in Zanzibar, is insisting on heaping & eating piggish portions of spaghetti & fig pie.
- Postponing inopportune issues & putting first things first, Kiwanis, Rotarians, & Shriners are putting their agonizing unity in writing, signing a proposition that reasserts their opposition to atheists, bigotry, euthanasia (‘outright assassination’), heroin, pinkos, the Spanish Inquisition, superstition, & unfairness in business arbitration.
- In Antibes, binging on pastis is getting Winnie higher than nine kites.
- In Kiruna, in white tie, sipping a Perrier, Fafnir Grieg, high priest of Ibsen initiates, is testing his register & intonation in painstaking preparation for his fiftieth signature interpretation of the protagonist in Ghosts.
- In Gorizia, Anita is working up an appetite for anitra triestina.
- At Trinity, Robin is boating with his tutor, Isaiah Singe. Isaiah is asking if Robin thinks he is going to finish his thesis (Affinities with the Orient: Inquiries into spurious interpretations of Hafiz in Ariosto, Ossian & Kropotkin) within his transitory span of years.
- In Bingen, penurious Winston is spiking his uninspiring Pepsi with Steinhäger.
- Business-wise Erika O’Higgins is sitting in Pittsburgh squinting with attention at the infuriating fine print in an IRS opinion assigning Irish pension benefits she is repatriating. The opinion questions her attestation separating foreign benefits, earnings as insurer in Tangier & those in tertiary proprietary rights in Zaïre; pinpoints gains transpiring through inquiries into unwritten but propitious negotiations in Haiti; & reinstates profits inherent in eight-figure operations she is authorizing in Bisk (Siberia).
- In Bonaire, Georgia, hungry Josiah is weighing into his piping-hot grits & grunts.
- Interiorizing Rienzi in her isba in Gorki, Anastasia thinks of Patti singing in I Puritani, of Kipnis in Boris, of Kiri Te Kanawa’s Rosina in a Göttingen Figaro.
- In Ostia, engaging Ethiopian waiters trigger big tips by squirting nips of grappa into porringers of out-of-season fruit.
- Batting against the Orizaba Tigres in Irapuato, rookie Juanito Arias first whiffs in eight straight opportunities before hitting a ninth-inning zinger & satisfying the inhabitants’ hopes of winning the Zapatista Series.
- Zazie is biting into rabbit thighs in Barbizon.
- Zenia, passionate Aquinist, is pursuing an ingenious hypothesis, assigning the origins of Aquinas’s interpretations of Gorgias to an ‘Osirian’ genesis arising in the writings of inquiring Egyptian priests, an origin that the Sophists reinstate, or so Zenia infers in her ingenious synthesis. Questioning the suppositions of post-Aquinist thinkers, Zenia insists on the inferiority of Fourier’s ‘inanities,’ Wittgenstein’s ‘gibberish,’ & Austin’s ‘asininities.’
- High-intensity spirits inspire high-intensity spirit in noisy Kirin.
- In an uninspiring quarter of Trier, Ohioan Josiah, a boisterous nineteen, is infuriating Swiss Inge, a serious thirty, by persisting in attributing the first apprehension of the Einstein shift to Igor Sikorsky.
- In a ristorante in Torino, sheepish Antonio’s superstitious hesitation between arrabiata spaghetti & risotto with funghi both intrigues & irritates patient Giorgina.
- In Ottawa, thirteen Inuit Situationists are signing treaties with the nation’s highest authorities guaranteeing that their tribes & regions inherit proprietary herring-fishing rights outright & in perpetuity.
- In Whitby, seagoing Einar, finishing his fifteenth pink gin, insists he is quite fine.